Your Money Mindset Matters: How It Can Support or Stall Your Career
So often in my work, the subject of finance comes up.
Money. Cash. Moolah.
It’s shocking every time to my clients the importance of understanding their financial situation on a deep level when they thought we were just going to talk about “work stuff.” Same goes for how many of my sessions dive into relationships with our spouses, family and children, too. What a wild thing to realize that so much of our lives are interconnected!
But once we start talking money thoughts, the whole world cracks open.
So why does career and leadership coaching so often intersect with financial health and budgeting?
I’ll tell you.
Why are money beliefs a component of career and leadership coaching?
We live in a capitalistic, consumeristic society. Surprise!
From a young age, we’ve been fed movie montages of epic shopping sprees, the knowledge that the right haircut will find you everlasting love, and entire series of books that have us imagining a new life where we discover we’re secret royalty.
We’ve grown up to understand that wealth is power, that to be a part of society, you must earn and suddenly:
Our hobbies have become side hustles.
Our interests must be marketable.
Our friendships are transactional.
It’s a painful realization to discover that money is playing a lead role in your life, whether or not you like it.
Money makes the world go round.
It’s how dinner gets on the table. It’s how we see ourselves in comparison to others. It’s how we fund our lifestyle, our desires, our whims or pains. It’s where we feel constricted, confined, held back.
Our relationship with money is complicated, fickle, and impacts how we grow and transform as leaders in our own careers. So buckle up, we have to figure out how to work with it!
How does money impact our growth as leaders in our career?
The real question is how doesn’t it impact us?
Money can show up as a limiting belief, a fear of what we deserve, something that we’re scared of - or in awe of.
Which of these beliefs resonate with you and where you are in your journey?
Money is elusive: no matter what’s in the bank account, we’re fearful that it could all go away in an instant.
We always need more: we never have enough money, there could always be more, no matter what amount you make
If it’s not going up, you’re failing: if we aren’t making more money at every stage in our life, we’re falling behind
We’re not worthy of the money: we’re scared that someone will find out we’re not worth what we’re being paid, that we don’t deserve what we make
Everyone has more money: we’re behind everyone else, they’re doing better, making more, and we don’t exactly know how
Money is a weapon: money is a way to exert power of others in our lives, or have power exerted over us
Money is a secret: don’t tell people what you make, don’t ask what they make, it’s a dirty topic!
Money is confusing and complicated: how much do we need? How do we get more of it? Are we doing it right?!
Money is scary: it’s too much to get into the details, better yet to stay away and ignore it without too much thought
What would you add? What are some other ways money thoughts show up for you?
Why we need to work on our Money Mindset
As you can (hopefully) see, our relationship with money can deeply impact how we show up in our career.
If you’re focused on always making more, you might lose sight of incredible opportunities that have you making a tiny bit less.
If you’re scared to ask for what you deserve, you might find yourself bitter and resentful when you discover you’re underpaid.
If you’re avoiding understanding money or your relationship with it, you might discover you’re unconsciously making choices that aren’t in your best interest.
When we get clearer on how money impacts our career, the way we make choices - for better or worse, we can reconsider and focus on what we want and need to feel secure, worthy, and in abundance.
Let’s flip those money beliefs and see how it feels:
Money is elusive → money is available. There are ways to make more money
We always need more → we have enough right now. Look at all that we have and can enjoy right here
If it’s not going up, you’re failing → money is just one number on the scale of life, if the money is going down but your freedom, autonomy, happiness, health and flexibility is going up… that’s pretty damn good
We’re not worthy of the money → we deserve to be paid well for the work that we do, to have a living wage, to be able to enjoy our lives and desires
Everyone has more money → it’s hard to tell people’s true financial situations. Some folks live beyond their means, or they have access to generational wealth, family support in the form of free childcare, maybe they choose to spend on things that you choose not to, and you have no idea how it’s going behind the scenes
Money is a weapon → money is a tool that we can choose to wield how it makes sense to us. We don’t have to hold money as a power over others, we can instead hold as something is our own weapon to carve out what we want!
Money is a secret → when we talk about money, we all do better. When you find out how much others are making, how they’re saving and planning, you can make better decisions, negotiations and choices
Money is confusing and complicated → money can be simple! It doesn’t have to be confusing or overwhelming! Any new topic is wildly overwhelming at first, but as we learn new things, we get more confident, and more empowered. There are so many options out there that we can panic, but usually, the simplest moves are the best moves
Money is scary → money is empowering. As you get better at understanding your relationship to money, and how money acts in your life, you can move forward with confidence
What are some money thoughts you want to rework?
Want my secret trick that usually wildly helps my clients? Read on!
The brilliance of "Your Number" to shift your Money Mindset - and your career trajectory
There's absolute magic in learning "Your Number."
No, we're not discussing enneagrams. Although according to a survey I'm a 6, 3 or 2. Do with that information what you will.
So what are we talking about?
As much as I wish we could all untangle our relationship with internalized success to external motivators like money, titles, and prestige - it can be a massive unlock to just be realistic about the ties.
Because I work mostly with established, ambitious professionals that are trying to figure out what comes next - money isn't something we can ignore. Nor can we ignore it's affect on how we see ourselves, and the world around us.
A client of mine recommended that I write an entire OpEd about how my work touches on complicated concepts in capitalism, the patriarchy, and the constant desire for more.
This isn't that OpEd. Yet.
Money, money, money
If you're into that DINK or FIRE lifestyle, you might have an idea here of where we're going with this.
The main reason I love working with the folks I work with, is because we're right at the precipice of figuring out what money means to us and how it should - or shouldn't - drive our decision-making.
There's an expectation, early in our career, that each move we make should always result in more. More money, more responsibility, more space.
And we carry that idea through as we get more senior, have bigger expenses, and the beauty of lifestyle creep.
But it can hold us back and make us unnecessarily risk-averse.
Wait, so no money money money?!
Don't get me wrong. We should all get P A I D. It's expensive out there! I love when people own their value, and make sure their compensation recognizes that. Ask for what you deserve! YES!
I want people to be able to play big and get what they want out there.
What I don't want is for people to stay in a role, industry, organization that doesn't serve them because of fear of losing those golden handcuffs.
Rather than having folks say, I make X, and I want to make XX - there is immense power in taking stock of your financial obligations, your desired luxuries, and the reality of future needs and getting clear on Your Number.
How to find Your Number
If you're already sweating, I got you. Thinking about budgets and finance is something that most of us plug our ears and ignore as much as possible. It's easier to just say "always make more!"
The simplest thing here is to find Your Number: the amount of money you need to make to meet your financial obligations, think about your desires around spend and savings.
Most of the folks I work with end up with a range, kind of like this:
Hairflip: this number would feel pretty damn tasty, and I imagine could unlock some choices I’ve been holding back on
No problemo: this number would create no real change in my lifestyle: spend, savings, debts
Pretty okay: this number would let me meet my obligations, but may lower some of the extras a bit: i.e. not save quite as much, or, one less creature comfort
Swingable: this number would force me to reign in some of my spending and lifestyle creep adjustments I've made. See ya later food delivery when I'm feeling lazy
Uncomfortable: this number would mean I have to change my lifestyle quite a bit: I may need to change where I live, sell some assets, but I wouldn't have to go into debt and it would be worth it
Some ways to find Your Number:
DIY Style:
Use a budgeting software like Monarch, You Need a Budget, Copilot, or excel spreadsheets to get clear on your spend to date
Take the amount you’ve been spending, and the amount you’re making and consider what you want your life to look like. A simple, easy way to do this is break it into the 50/30/20 model:
50% of your money should go to needs: your rent/mortgage, electrical, groceries
30% of your money should go to wants: dinners out, fun new outfits, vacations, etc
20% of your money should to go savings/paying down debt: 401K, investment accounts, 529s
As you review you can play with the amount you need to make. I.e. when you look at your wants and needs, can anything be reduced? You can toy around here a bit. If you got rid of that expensive personal trainer and switched to youtube workouts, how much less could you make? Or if you considered a massive change like getting a new apartment or roommates - what would that do?
Another option here is to work with a financial advisor or service - I recommend using a “fee based” advisor rather than someone who wants to manage your money for you. This helps you focus on exactly what you want to walk away with!
At the end of the day, the idea of finding Your Number, isn’t to hold yourself from joy, or to take a step back in how well you’re doing. It’s to slow down and say, rather than climbing and climbing, can I be realistic about what I need to live a life I love?!
We’ve been conditioned to always make more (and don’t get me wrong, I’m ON BOARD with making more!) Yet, if making more more more has us forgoing roles or opportunities that are exciting and we believe would make us happier, feel more challenged, and help us grow? It’s important to get real about what you need to live a life you love.
Want the simplest way I can explain this? If you make 100k a year, but work 80 hours a week, you’re only making ~$25/hour. But if you take a role that pays 80k and you work 40 hours a week? You’re making $40/hour. And you have more time to see friends, to exercise, to take on those hobbies. Now just imagine if that new role making 20k less also had more freedom, autonomy and joy? What a deal!
Have you ever taken a pay cut and felt dare I say… good about it??!
Want to dive further into money and not feel so scared? A couple of books I’ve enjoyed on this topic:
Rich AF: The Winning Money Mindset That Will Change Your Life by Vivian Tu, of YourRichBFF on the socials
All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi
The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
What books, podcasts, or resources have you enjoyed on money stuff?!
Want to work on your money mindset with someone who gets it? Reach out.